january sun
I stand in the ray of january light
Inside of my window
I am tepid, not yet wanting to allow myself to feel the carnivorous desire for summer
This is a ray of sunshine that is full of false hope
Warm on my cheek, i press my face to the pane
The air still too cold to lounge about in the grass
And far too frigid to laze on the beach
I want mother nature to hold me
And for all my cold bones to relax and melt into her summers heat
Yet the wolf moon bares its fangs
As the sun sets later and later
Summer is sending me postmarked mail
From months ago
With a promise of warmer times soon to come again
new morning
In the evening i dream of buttered toast and warm eggs and fresh coffee
And lull myself to sleep, my thoughts laced with maple syrup
And in the morning i awake
And drag myself out of bed for the first time all week
My skin is tired and numb
I watch the sun rise and sip my fresh coffee
I do puzzles and write poetry and forget my eggs even exist
My midnight dream lived out imperfectly yet just the way i needed it to
Spring is here and it isn’t at all what i expected
But god does it feel good
june
The chilly nights where you can crack a window. not kept shut tight nor unlatched and swung open,
before the heat becomes unforgiving and
the windows desperately try to play the underwhelming role of a missing air conditioner.
the blankets become nothing but a bystander.
I keep my car windows down all day. The warm air is what ive been craving all these months.
No need yet to beg my ac to carry the weight of all the sweat accumulating on my brow.
The weather will be a kind judge this time of year.
The brief blossoming of honeysuckle and its corresponding revival of summertime nostalgia.
The bittersweet anticipation of hotter days to come. it's better than the sour winters so i begrudgingly welcome the soon-to-be july heat.
Goodbye, my sweet june. you aren't even gone yet and i know i will miss you.
There is never enough of you.
peaches
i want to sink my teeth into the ripe august peach
please be forgiving
as the fruit juice dries, sticking to my cheeks, dripping down my fingers
crystalizing in the sharp grass below me
the bugs enjoying their share
it is a messy thing
to enjoy life with such vigor
i dreamed up an adult
so perfect and clean, only
to find satisfaction in the stickiness of summer fruit
and dirty hands
and sunburnt cheeks
i once feared scraped knees and blisters
a sign of imperfection:
of you tried and failed.
only to find them on my older self,
gleaming as i inevitably pop the blister, puss raging out
proud of the bike i fell off and rocks i climbed poorly
piles of unkempt laundry await as i leave for another playdate in the sun
mismatch dinner served to hungry mouths sharing
wine and crackers and leftover pierogi
we are at home here in this messy little life
Wild Woman
I want to run on all fours
Climb my way home
Be wholly me
Woman
I want to sip in the creek
Face plunged in its cold winter pool
To grab fish like a bear
Raw mouthful of salmon
To climb the trees and fall back down
Soaring on the uptake
Into the air and back down into the earth
Bird woman Cat woman Mama Bear
She roars and screams
And the world finally hears
untitled love poem
come take my love
when your heart is ready
when there is space for us to create a home
fill my cup and i shall fill yours
take strokes into the ocean as
the tide turns in
we leave it be
our love feels seen
and that is enough for tonight
the closeness we feel
intimacy and
comfort
yet not quite there yet
ill be ready when you are
,
waiting